An Oasis of Hope

I'm reading Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew by Sherrie Eldridge. Mrs. Eldridge is an adoptee, and she pulls no punches with the stark realities of what it sometimes means to be adopted. But she is also a Christian, and feelings of hope pervade her writing. It is precisely this hope which I need to latch on to right now.

Mrs. Eldridge writes, "...the very act of adoption is built upon loss. Grief is the natural response to loss, and those touched by adoption must be given permission to revisit emotionally the place of loss, feel the pain, scream the anger, cry the tears, and then allow themselves to be loved by others. If left unresolved, this grief can and often does sabotage the strongest of families and the deepest potential within the adopted child." She goes on to say, "The pain of adoption is not something that happens to a person; it is the person. Because the pain is so primal, it is virtually impossible to describe." Pretty heavy stuff!

Thankfully, Mrs. Eldridge ends her first chapter with a message of hope. "It is clear that healthy grafting doesn't always come easily in adoptive families! Neither is it spontaneous nor natural. Rather, it is a labor of sacrificial love and commitment... Here the delicate tissues from the parents and the severed branch mingle together to form a lasting, intimate attachment that will serve as a model for future healthy relationships. Unresolved adoption loss is not an unconquerable mountain! ...you have every reason to hope for a beautiful, thriving child and family."

We can bear to read and ponder the crucifixion account in the Bible because we know that the resurrection is coming. So, too, we can bear to endure the pain the entire family encounters during the grafting process because we know that what God brought together, He will not forsake. I pray continually for our children, especially our daughter who is feeling the pain of loss right now. Although we traveled on some rough terrain again today, He gave us an oasis of hope for some of our journey.