The Gift of Time

Being at the abbey gave me time. Time to read and study. Time to compare and study three translations. Time to allow the desire to dig deep really take root.



It gave me time to jot down my thoughts. Time to read and reread, meditate upon verses, study, and write down thoughts that God brought to mind as I studied scripture.

If I could but carve out, daily, that precious gift of unhurried time in my own life back at home.

(The view from the desk in my room at the abbey Retreat House.)

Thus Have They Loved to Wander

Thus saith the Lord unto this people, Thus have they loved to wander,
they have not refrained their feet, therefore the Lord doth not accept them;
He will now remember their iniquity, and visit their sins.

Then said the Lord unto me, Pray not for this people for their good.

When they fast, I will not hear their cry; and when they offer burnt offering and an oblation, I will not accept them: but I will consume them by the sword, and by the famine, and by the pestilence.

Jeremiah 14: 10-12 KJV

This cow wandered onto the gravel road that runs through the abbey site. There were other places with better grazing, but he stayed here with two other cows for quite some time.

How often we stray from greener pastures. How different our lives would be if we would but graze where the Lord has provided what we need.

As I read Jeremiah I think that God seems to have turned His back on our country, just as He turned His back on Judah. For my children's sakes, I plead like Abraham, asking God to spare us for the sake of even ten righteous men.

WWGWD?

What Would George Washington Do?

I don't think he'd push for government run health care. Or Cash for Clunkers.

Maybe this will help you to feel a little better about our current congress.

"From the least to the greatest,
all are greedy for gain;
prophets and priests alike,
all practice deceit.
They dress the wound of my people
as though it were not serious.
'Peace, peace,' they say,
when there is no peace.
Are they ashamed of their loathsome conduct?
No, they have no shame at all'
they do not even know how to blush.
So they will fall among the fallen;
they will be brought down when I punish them."

Jeremiah 6: 13-15 NIV

Chant and Time

I'm listening to "How Lovely Is Thy Dwelling Place" from the German Requiem by Johannes Brahms (1833-1897). It nearly moves me to uncontrollable tears each time I hear it, so beautiful is the writing. So, while I wouldn't want a diet of only Gregorian Chant, I do enjoy listening to the sisters of the abbey sing.

This excerpt from Music of Silence helps me understand why. Author David Steindl-Rast, a Benedictine monk, strives to show how to "incorporate the sacred meaning of monastic life into our everyday lives."

Saturated with information but often bereft of meaning, we feel caught in a never-ending swirl of duties and demands, things to finish, things to put right. Yet as we dart anxiously from one activity to the next, we sense that there is more to life than our worldly agendas.

Our uneasiness and our frantic scrambling are caused by our distorted sense of time, which seems to be continually running out. Western culture reinforces this misconception of time as a limited commodity: We are always meeting deadlines; we are always short on time, we are always running out of time.

Chant music, on the other hand, evokes a different relationship to time, one in which time, while precious, isn't scarce. The pure, serene, yet soaring sounds of the chant remind us that there is another way to live in this noisy, distracted world, and this way is not as out of reach as it might seem.

Blog to Try

My husband stumbled onto this blog. I haven't read much, but a quick perusal looks interesting. You may want to try it, too.

Theology in Verse

(This picture of the church doors comes from the blog.)

Hay and Humbleness

"Monks, like those who farm or fish according to seasons and tides, are especially attuned to the language nature speaks, and they tend to have a healthy and realistic humility regarding their own control over the events of life."
Kathleen Norris

I was walking down the 3/4 mile road from the retreatants' house to the Abbey Chapel and there they were. Two hay bales on the road, with remnants of a third in the ditch. A closer inspection showed tractor marks in the gravel road, at angles that made it appear someone had tried turning around on the road.

The bales had not been there when we walked back from Sext (Midday Prayer). But they were there a few hours later, and there they stayed until at least mid-morning the next day.

When I first saw them, along with the road sign "SLOW DOWN," I thought of a funny caption. "Yes, even nuns make mistakes." But, at Vespers (Evening Prayer), I watched the sisters diligently chanting the Psalms, and thought of how at least one of the nuns in front of me knew about the hay in the road, and knew the bales needed to be moved. I scanned the nuns on each side of the chapel, each one looking as calm as the next. The sister who was responsible for moving the bales didn't skip Vespers to work on the hay. She knew that it would get done in due time. Her job now was to worship God. She had a "healthy and realistic humility" regarding her control over the events in her life.

That's one of the lessons I am always reminded of at the Abbey: slow down and keep your priorities in order. Don't put off praising God because of the errant hay bales of life.

Dewy-Feather'd Sleep

Hide me from day's garish eye,
While the bee with honied thigh,
That at her flowery work doth sing,
And the waters murmuring
With such consort as they keep,
Entice the dewy-feather'd sleep.

John Milton (1608-1674)
from Il Penseroso

While preparing dinner in the kitchen, I heard a buzzing that was loud enough to be detected, despite the radio playing. The buzzing was insistent enough to make me peek through the blinds, which were drawn to keep the sun's afternoon heat at bay.

Was it a wasp or a bee? I silently planned to check on it later. Dinner seemed the more important thing to attend to at the moment.

Later didn't come soon enough.

The next morning, I spied the forgotten bee on the window sill. Well, not actually on the window sill. That would have been more poetic. Instead, she was in the metal track in which the window slides. She had spent her last moments of life valiantly trying to return to the hive with her hard-won sustenance. I couldn't bear to see her there. A life all used up, without getting to return home. So I took her outside and lay her in a bed of golden flower petals. This seemed a more fitting resting place for one so driven to obey God's command for her life.

How often have I hurridly dismissed someone's plea for help, and thought, "Later..."?
Lord, help me to be mindful of hurts, burdens, and pleas.

"My Shepherd Is the Lord My God"

An unknown writer paraphrased Psalm 23 into a rhyming poem, suitable for singing. These words were put to the music of English composer, Thomas Tallis (1505-1585). Tallis, a church organist, com­posed Ro­man Ca­tho­lic li­tur­gic­al works in La­tin. Although he re­mained a Ca­tho­lic, Tallis composed music for the Anglican church, as well. He was one of the first com­pos­ers of Anglican sa­cred mu­sic to write in Eng­lish.

My Shepherd Is the Lord My God

My Shepherd is the Lord my God;
What can I want beside?
He leads me where green pastures are,
And where cool waters hide.

He will refresh my soul again,
When I am faint and sore,
And guide my step for His Name’s sake,
In right paths evermore.

Though I should walk the vale of death,
I should not know a fear.
Thy rod and staff they comfort me:
Thou, Lord, art ever near.

A table Thou hast spread for me
In presence of my foes;
Thou dost anoint my head with oil,
My cup, Lord, overflows.

Thy goodness and Thy mercy, Lord,
Will surely follow me,
And in Thy house forevermore
My dwelling place shall be.

(The link above will take you to the melody, as well as the printed words. I am unable to locate a source for the painting of Tallis, above. Variations of this painting seems to be the only rendering we have of him. It appears that the painting was modeled after an etching of Tallis.)

Motes and Beams

Excerpts from The Imitation of Christ by Thomas a Kempis
Book 1 Chapter 14
On Avoiding Rash Judgment

In judging others a man laboureth in vain;
he often erreth, and easily falleth into sin;
but in judging and examining himself
he always laboureth to good purpose.

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye
and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"
Matthew 7:3 (NIV)

"And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye,
but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?"
Matthew 7:3 (KJV)

The King James version likens our sin to a beam, not merely a plank. I picture a lodgepole pine tree; not some puny 2" X 4" board.

We have a tree trunk in our eye! Several, actually. And we love to fret and complain about the speck in our brother's eye.

Dear Lord, help me not to unfairly judge others. Help me not to grumble in my mind over little petty things whilst ignoring my own faults.

(Photo taken by my son on the Texas Gulf coast. Notice that you can see lots of beams, but nary a mote.)

"Redeemer! Whither Should I Flee?"

British priest, Augustus Toplady (1740 - 1778), is probably best known today for penning the words to the hymn "Rock of Ages". In his all-too-short life, he also wrote The Doctrine of Absolute Predestination Stated and Asserted in 1769. Historic Proof of the Doctrinal Calvinism of the Church of England was written in 1774. In 1775, Toplady left the Anglican church and began preaching at a French Calvinist church in London. Toplady died of tuberculosis a few months shy of his 38th birthday. Quite sobering when one thinks of how much he and others accomplished in far fewer years than many of us have already lived.

Here are the first two verses of one of the many hymns Toplady wrote.


"Redeemer! Whither Should I Flee?"

Redeemer! whither should I flee,
Or how escapee the wrath to come?
The weary sinner flies to Thee
For shelter from impending doom;
Smile on me, gracious Lord,
And show Thyself the Friend of sinners now.

Beneath the shadow of Thy cross,
The heavy-laden soul finds rest;
I would esteem the world but dross,
So I might be of Christ possessed.
I'd seek my every joy in Thee,
Be thou both life and light to me.

(Photo taken by my son on the Gulf coast of Texas. It makes me think of Jonah fleeing via ship from his appointed mission to Nineveh.)

Anniversaries

On May 25, my dad had been gone for five years. Five years. Seems like yesterday. Seems like ages ago. I tried to write something. Couldn't get the words right. It still sits in my blog queue, with Draft staring at me in blue letters.

This past Sunday was our wedding anniversary. Twenty-nine years we've been married. Seems like yesterday. Seems like ages ago. Some of my childhood memories are still so fresh, that it seems impossible that I've been married longer than I was single.

Here is one of the prayers spoken at our wedding, back when we weren't even Christians yet. It's only one sentence, but there's a lot of meat in that sentence.

O God, who hast so consecrated the state of Matrimony that in it is represented the spiritual marriage and unity betwixt Christ and His Church; Look mercifully upon these thy servants, that they may love, honour, and cherish each other, and so live together in faithfulness and patience, in wisdom and true godliness, that their home may be a haven of blessing and of peace; through the same Jesus Christ our Lord, who liveth and reigneth with thee and the Holy Spirit ever, one God, world without end. Amen.

The Form of Solemnization of Matrimony
Book of Common Prayer

Met Outside the Door

Excerpts from The Imitation of Christ by Thomas a Kempis
Book 1 Chapter 13
Of Resisting Temptation

So long as we live in the world, we cannot be without trouble and trial.

No man is so perfect in holiness that he hath never temptations, nor can we ever be wholly free from them.

[Through temptations] we are humbled, purified, instructed.

Nevertheless, we must watch, especially in the beginnings of temptation; for then is the foe the more easily mastered, when he is not suffered to enter within the mind, but is met outside the door as soon as he hath knocked.

The longer a man delayeth his resistance, the weaker he groweth, and the stronger groweth the enemy against him.

(The photo was taken by my son while he was in Texas recently. I don't have one of a closed door, but I thought that the trestle blocking the tracks conveys a similar impediment.)

And Yet...

I took this picture with my cell phone while on a walk after dinner. It doesn't begin to do justice to the mountains or the sky I saw. While the sun slowly set, I marveled over each new color change, and each ray shooting out from under the clouds. I saw bold colors, then a bright golden disk where the sun slipped behind the mountains, and finally, God's watercolor painting framing the darkened peaks in the distance.

One of Sunday's scripture readings was from 2 Corinthians 6. Paul concludes his list of hardships encountered by writing, "...having nothing, and yet possessing everything."

You can drive an old car, wear out-of-date clothes, pine for new flooring in the kitchen, and pray that the hot water heater hangs in there for one more year. Yet, no matter who you are, you can walk outside your door and see the same sky and the same sunset as the richest person in town. But that's not even the best part. We can marvel at God's grace and mercy to us while we were yet sinners.

We have nothing, and yet possess everything!

"For the Fruit of All Creation"

And He said, "Whereunto shall we liken the kingdom of God? or with what comparison shall we compare it?
It is like a grain of mustard seed, which, when it is sown in the earth, is less than all the seeds that be in the earth:
But when it is sown, it groweth up, and becometh greater than all herbs, and shooteth out great branches; so that the fowls of the air may lodge under the shadow of it."

Mark 4: 30-32 KJV

The contemporary (1970) lyrics of this hymn are added to the melody which I know as the lullaby, "All Through the Night". The lullaby's tune, "Ar Hyd y Nos", is a popular Welsh folk song first recorded in a 1784 book of Welsh songs.

For the Fruit of All Creation

For the fruit of all creation,
thanks be to God.
gifts bestowed on every nation,
thanks be to God.
For the plowing, sowing, reaping,
silent growth while we are sleeping,
future needs in earth's safekeeping,
thanks be to God.

(For all verses of this hymn, click on the hymn link. Photo above is a close up of a mustard flower. There is a photo of a man standing next to a mustard plant here.)

Swirling Winds of Life

I think my brain is mush.

We get so caught up in the culture of our time and place. (Think: magazine covers in the supermarket line, basketball finals, new Rockies baseball manager, movies, Obama's latest apology tour to Europe, etc.) We forget the "real" world. The world out there, that is hurting, wounded, and in need of the Savior.

This past Sunday, we had a visit at church from a missionary from Free Burma Rangers. They minister to the displaced ethnic peoples of Burma. He was accompanied by about 50 refugees from Burma who now live in Denver. They sang some hymns in their native Karen language. We also saw pictures of Burmese people running from the occupying army. They carried everything they owned in large baskets strapped to their backs. Sobering.

Just found out yesterday, my mom may have cancer in her bone marrow.

I was rear-ended by a car yesterday on my way home from taking my mom to the doctor. Neck is a little sore.

This afternoon we watched a funnel cloud forming in the skies north of us. I've never seen the funnel cloud actually swirling like that before. The funnel went horizontally and never came close to touching down, but it was awesome anyway. It makes you feel quite insignificant and in awe of God's creation and power to see such a sight.

I found out tonight that one of my brothers probably had two strokes last weekend. He's only 52 and not a Christian.


On a lighter note, but monumental in our immediate lives nonetheless: our almost fifteen year old son is now being texted by two girls from church. Literally overnight, he's entered the world of boy-girl stuff. We weren't ready for that!

Both kids were gone tonight (sleepovers), and my sweet husband agreed to watch Sense and Sensibility with me. (HIS idea! Theater version with Emma Thompson and Hugh Grant.) It was a nice diversion from the turmoil in my life.

I'd appreciate prayers for my brother, Scott, his wife and three children. They live in Ireland. Quite a ways from me in Colorado. Hopefully, he will soon be released from the hospital in Dublin.

I know that God is always in control. He is always with me. I seek to do His will.

(Photo comes from the web--taken this afternoon by newspaper photographer, David Jennings. This is the tornado we saw.)