In All Things

Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
I Thessalonians 5:18

When you say your wedding vows, you have a misguided youthful optimism that the "for poorer," "for worse," and "in sickness" will all be minimal, short-lived, and bearable. But when you feel as bashed upon the rocks as this water from a mountain stream, you must still give thanks in all circumstances.

(photo taken by my son on a weekend camping trip with our church)

In the Middle

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm Reliance on the Protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.
Final sentence in the Declaration of Independence

One week ago today was my 30th anniversary. One week from today, I will be divorced. I am in the middle of two very difficult days. The first milestone was one I yearned to reach and surpass, my parents not making it to 25 years. The second condition was one I never wanted to experience, nor even utter aloud. And yet, here I stand. Not understanding why God has allowed this to happen. Yet praying earnestly that I will be faithful to Him through it all.

Last Monday evening I was surrounded by dear, precious family and friends. Preparing for the occasion kept me busy all the day long. The love and prayers poured out for me and my two children served to carry me through, not only on the day itself, but for several days beyond.

God gave me a tangible reminder that I am not alone. Even in my darkest hours, He is with me. I thank and praise God for those who have walked with me down this difficult path, pledging their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor.

(Our fireworks were cancelled last evening, due to rain. I think that these flowers serve as an even better show, created by our Heavenly Father, and currently residing in the front yard.)

Swirling Winds of Life

I think my brain is mush.

We get so caught up in the culture of our time and place. (Think: magazine covers in the supermarket line, basketball finals, new Rockies baseball manager, movies, Obama's latest apology tour to Europe, etc.) We forget the "real" world. The world out there, that is hurting, wounded, and in need of the Savior.

This past Sunday, we had a visit at church from a missionary from Free Burma Rangers. They minister to the displaced ethnic peoples of Burma. He was accompanied by about 50 refugees from Burma who now live in Denver. They sang some hymns in their native Karen language. We also saw pictures of Burmese people running from the occupying army. They carried everything they owned in large baskets strapped to their backs. Sobering.

Just found out yesterday, my mom may have cancer in her bone marrow.

I was rear-ended by a car yesterday on my way home from taking my mom to the doctor. Neck is a little sore.

This afternoon we watched a funnel cloud forming in the skies north of us. I've never seen the funnel cloud actually swirling like that before. The funnel went horizontally and never came close to touching down, but it was awesome anyway. It makes you feel quite insignificant and in awe of God's creation and power to see such a sight.

I found out tonight that one of my brothers probably had two strokes last weekend. He's only 52 and not a Christian.


On a lighter note, but monumental in our immediate lives nonetheless: our almost fifteen year old son is now being texted by two girls from church. Literally overnight, he's entered the world of boy-girl stuff. We weren't ready for that!

Both kids were gone tonight (sleepovers), and my sweet husband agreed to watch Sense and Sensibility with me. (HIS idea! Theater version with Emma Thompson and Hugh Grant.) It was a nice diversion from the turmoil in my life.

I'd appreciate prayers for my brother, Scott, his wife and three children. They live in Ireland. Quite a ways from me in Colorado. Hopefully, he will soon be released from the hospital in Dublin.

I know that God is always in control. He is always with me. I seek to do His will.

(Photo comes from the web--taken this afternoon by newspaper photographer, David Jennings. This is the tornado we saw.)

Resting Wholly Upon God

Excerpts from The Imitation of Christ by Thomas a Kempis
Book 1 Chapter 12
Of the Uses of Adversity

It is good for us that we sometimes have sorrows and adversities, for they often make a man lay to heart that he...not put his trust in any worldly thing.
...a man ought to rest wholly upon God.

I just returned Sunday from a week in West Virginia. My younger brother broke his femur in late February and was hospitalized for a month and a half. My mom went to help him, broke two vertebrae in her back and had to have surgery.

I fretted with deciding about going. What would happen to our daughter? She was frantic about me flying, and being away from her. When would be the best time to go? Who needed the most help and when? Could I get my mother to fly back with me? What would we do with her car that was in West Virginia?

There were so many questions, and I didn't know the answers to any of them! I prayed. I had friends pray. I read my Bible. I prayed some more. I tried to rest in Him. Truth be told, I fretted more than rested, and didn't see an easy way to solve all the problems.

But, I went anyway, hoping to solve a few of the questions that had perplexed me for days. I went to help my brother and mother with their immediate needs. I finally realized I couldn't solve every problem. I just had to focus on what needed to be done now. And then, God, in His infinite mercy and grace, solved EVERYTHING else, too! It didn't work out as I suspected, but He worked it all out. It still seems like a dream. But it's all very real and mysterious and amazing.

Thank you, Lord, for adversity. And thank you for praying friends, mercy, and answers to questions in ways we could never imagine.

(Photo of a West Virginia forest comes from
this website. When you drive down the hill from the airport in Charleston, you are welcomed by a beautiful wooded area similar to the photo above.)

Okra and Mercy

I've only eaten okra once, and that was enough to convince me that I don't like it. We ended up with a one pound bag of frozen okra that never made it to the stove top. Instead, it has been promoted to (drum roll, please): ice pack. Yes, folks. Providing far more than its potential nutritional value, it has nursed bruises, sprains, and nebulous owies for several years now. I was going to post about Haydn this evening. Well, actually...about how little I know about the stars. But here I sit at the computer with a bag of frozen okra on my knee. (I wonder how many times Haydn and okra make it into the same paragraph??)

Bedtime reading for the kids tonight was supposed to be Farmer Boy. I had only just begun the chapter about the horse thieves and the strange dog when our own dog, Lady, barked quite vehemently at the back sliding door. My son and I came to investigate what was making our usually calm dog so agitated. We spied a dog - no leash, no master - nosing around in the greenbelt area behind our house. Our daughter came downstairs, and as she is sometimes wont to do, she riled Lady up even more. Lady turned around so quickly that she banged into my knee quite hard, and gave me a big old bruise.

It hurt like the dickens, so I sent the offending "riler" up to bed, without any more Laura Ingalls Wilder. The "rilee" continued to bark at the stray, and my son went to get his pellet gun. Just in case.

I had just read this morning from Deuteronomy 32:2:

Let my teaching fall like rain
and my words descend like dew,
like showers on new grass,
like abundant rain on tender plants.

I would like to say that I consciously thought of that verse, but that would be lying. God must have brought it into my heart anyway, because I was able to sit on my daughter's bed a few minutes later and have a far different conversation than I wanted to. Playing the martyr sounded pretty good when I first went upstairs! Throbbing knee, and all.

My daughter felt pretty bad about the whole episode, and wanted me to slap her, of all things. To make it even, she said. Of course I didn't comply. Would hurting you take away my bruise? I asked her. She knew the obvious answer to that question.

We were able to have a conversation about obedience, learning from mistakes, and turning the other cheek. She was able to see that she likes to rile up Lady because it makes her feel in control of something. When she feels out of control regarding being placed for adoption, this makes her want to take control wherever she can. The wind out of her sails, she received my forgiveness, and calmed down. She was then able to come up with some really good ideas of healthy ways to take control of various parts of her life.

I am so thankful that I was able to extend mercy to her when that wasn't my first desire. And it was all because God has extended His perfect mercy to me. He made certain I was primed with patience, mercy, and wisdom from Moses. It's a verse I've read many times before. I've copied it down. Lost it. Written it in journals. This morning, I even wrote it in marker on a piece of paper and taped it where I can see it every day while I sit in the rocker by the fireplace. All, just for this evening.

Amazing when you think of it. Our God IS an awesome God!

Now, let me get this okra back into the freezer. I don't want it to start thawing and get that slime all over everything.

Giving Thanks

God's grace.

Last Saturday, we had driven out into the country to glean the fields at Miller Farms and pick some free food. Unfortunately, so had 40,000 other people. The generous Miller family certainly didn't have that much parking space. They didn't have that much food either. So they had to call in a sheriff to direct traffic and turn people away.

Two nights ago, a friend from church called. Another friend of hers had been one of the fortunate few to pick some food last Saturday, and she had more than she could use. My friend brought us some of the excess food. Thanks to the generosity of others, we ended up getting food from Miller Farms after all! He provides!

I put the traditional five kernels of corn on everyone's plate yesterday as I finished up the last of the table setting. Thirty minutes later, I sat there, eating my fill of food, gazing at those kernels. Thankful for the perseverance of the Pilgrims. Thankful that I've never, ever had only five kernels of corn to serve my children. And knowing full well that it's nothing I have done to deserve this bounty.

It's just God's grace.

What Jesus Has Done

I cannot save and sanctify myself; I cannot atone for sin; I cannot redeem the world; I cannot make right what is wrong, pure what is impure, holy what is unholy. This is all the sovereign work of God.

I am not saved by believing; I realize I am saved by believing. It is not repentance that saves me, repentance is the sign that I realize what God has done in Christ Jesus.

I stand justified, not because I am sorry for my sin, not because I have repented, but because of what Jesus has done.

My Utmost For His Highest - Oswald Chambers

Remembering

There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the Lord.

Proverbs 21:30


There is much to distract us: What to make of Obama's "lipstick on a pig" reference? Should Sarah Palin be running for high office given that she's a Christian and still has children at home? What does the latest Hollywood bimbo du jour say about the Palin pick? Was 9/11 an inside job? Should we even be in Iraq? Football standings. Baseball standings. And on and on to distraction.

This day, we should be praying for the thousands of families who are hurting. They either lost their loved ones on September 11, 2001; or on the battlefields in the years that have followed.

May God comfort those families. May we be ever thankful for our freedoms. And may we be bold in fighting, when necessary, for what's good in America.

"God rules as surely on earth as He does in heaven. He permits, for reasons known only to Himself, people to act contrary to and in defiance of His revealed will. But He never permits them to act contrary to His sovereign will."

Trusting God Jerry Bridges

Exploding Pyrex

God was gracious and we averted danger this afternoon when my 4 cup Pyrex measuring cup exploded. Yes, exploded.

I accidentally hit my measuring cup against a bowl and a little piece of the pouring spout broke off. I placed the measuring cup on the counter while I finished putting the rest of the dishes away and about one minute later, we heard an exploding sound. Thankfully, neither the kids, our dog, or myself were injured, even though we were all within no more than 8 feet from the explosion.

It scared our dog out of the kitchen. The kids and I stood there in shock. We immediately knew we were most fortunate that none of us were hurt. God kept most of the millions of pieces of broken glass on the counter.

This evening I Googled "exploding Pyrex cup" and learned many other people have had similar experiences with glass Pyrex products. What little reading I did made me realize how fortunate we truly were. Some people had dishes explode while they were holding them or cleaning them. Some exploded right at the table.

I could be all wrong about this, but I can't help but think the company is knowingly putting out shoddy products. I think Pyrex (now owned by Corning and under the umbrella of yet another company called World Kitchens) is trying to rest on their past good reputation and is manufacturing an inferior product in order to make more money. (I have older Pyrex dishes I've used for more than 25 years. This measuring cup was not even 2 years old.) I fear that this happens all too frequently. A large company, far removed from their consumers, produces a product with inferior materials and inferior methods just so a few guys at the top can make more money.

It's bad enough that glass measuring cups are manufactured and sold this way. It's really scary when you realize that much of the food we buy at the grocery store isn't far removed from this same scenario. Big ag has the goal of producing the most food for the lowest price and showering their high paid execs with perks and high salaries. The consumer, high quality, a good name...these don't count for much anymore.

(The photo comes from a consumeraffairs.com article about exploding Pyrex dishes.)

Empty Shells and Little Old Ladies

This day seems to be a unique one in our family. First, my husband and I both became Christians on September 16, 1984. Exactly ten years later we received the adoption papers and picture for the little boy who would become our son. Then a few years after that, both of our children became American citizens on September 16.

This year, it was to be the day that we would become Pilgrims, of sorts. For the past year and a half we have been attending an Episcopal church that we suspected would not remain so forever. It had become a magnet for people who were disgusted with the Episcopal church hierarchy and it didn't take long for us to see that things would get interesting if we stuck around.

This morning was our last Sunday in the current building. Our pastor, most of the staff, and many of the parishioners will be starting a new church in a different denomination. Our rector was going to stay until the end of this month, but the Bishop had other plans and asked him to leave after today. So, our little band of pilgrims is going to meet for two weeks of lay-led worship and prayer until our rector can perform communion again on October 7.

As my daughter and I walked out of the church for the last time today, she said, "Let's say good-bye to the church." As we stood in the "cry room" at the back of the sanctuary, for some reason I was reminded of an empty insect shell. It was as if God was telling me that the life was gone from the room, the shell served its purpose, and now there is new life beginning elsewhere.

Although this thought helped me not to cry as we left, the empty shell analogy isn't entirely accurate. I think there are some people staying at the church who are truly children of God. They are fed up with what's going on in the Episcopal church, but they just can't bring themselves to leave. They raised families in that church. They buried their husbands while at that church. They've weathered many storms in their lives, and they want to stay put in a familiar place for the few remaining years they have left on this earth.

All I can say is, God bless those "little old ladies." May they be a remnant of truth that help guide more souls to Christ in that shell which won't be so empty come next Sunday.

"Lead On, O King Eternal"

I had to come to church late this morning, arriving in time for communion and the final hymn. Then I planned to attend the next service to hear the sermon, thus completing the circle. So I sang this hymn at the first service, not knowing yet that our priest had announced at the close of the sermon that he, the church staff, and the entire vestry have all resigned, effective October 1. It looks like our parish is headed for some major changes, to say the least.

I'm excited about what the future will bring. I'm thankful that our church leadership is saying that they don't want to be associated with the Episcopal church anymore.

May God be glorified!

"Lead On, O King Eternal"

Lead on, O King eternal,
The day of march has come;
Henceforth in fields of conquest
Thy tents shall be our home.
Through days of preparation
Thy grace has made us strong;
And now, O King eternal,
We lift our battle song.

Lead on, O King eternal,
Till sin’s fierce war shall cease,
And holiness shall whisper
The sweet amen of peace.
For not with swords’ loud clashing,
Nor roll of stirring drums;
With deeds of love and mercy
The heavenly kingdom comes.

Lead on, O King eternal,
We follow, not with fears,
For gladness breaks like morning
Where’er Thy face appears.
Thy cross is lifted over us,
We journey in its light;
The crown awaits the conquest;
lead on, O God of might!

Note: The author of this morning's recessional hymn, Ernest Shurtleff (1862-1917), (pictured above) wrote it when he was only 26. It was sung at his graduation ceremony from theological seminary in 1888. Quite an accomplishment, I must say.

The Days Fashioned for Me

Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.
Psalm 139:16 (NKJV)


Little did I know that the decision I made at age 8 to play the French horn would have ramifications for decades to come. A church service that my husband and I played for began the change in our hearts towards God, and a few months later we both became Christians. Some years down the road we were going through the adoption process for our first child. We prayed for confirmation from God that the child offered to us would be the right one for us. We didn't know how He could show us an answer to this prayer, but we waited expectantly. We received a call about a baby boy one day, but he had some health concerns, so our social worker gave us time to consider our decision.

It didn't take us long to decide, for the day we received the call was September 16, 1994. It was ten years, to the day, since we had both become Christians. What better confirmation could we receive that God was carefully orchestrating this for us. Of course, we said, "Yes!"

A few years after that, God was gracious to include our daughter in this special date in our lives. Again, the date was not fixed by us, but by the Lord and the behemoth known as the Immigration and Naturalization Service. On September 16, 1998, both of our (quite healthy!) children became U.S. citizens.

God is always sovereign. When we don't know Him, when we don't acknowledge Him, when we deny Him, when we ignore Him; He is present in all aspects of our lives. Even in our fallen state, His works are so unbelievably amazing that they can't help but be noticed by us. God has blessed my family by showing us in a very unique way how His providence has been working in our lives. I don't doubt Him when I am not able to see His hand in such a distinct fashion, but I am eternally grateful that He allowed us to see such a glimpse of His perfect tapestry.